Self-Care Celebrations: Embracing "The Gap and the Gain"
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While working on implementing self-care and prioritizing our well-being, it can be easy to get caught up in what’s missing, what we are not doing, and how we are not doing what we think we should be doing. As I mentioned in my last post, my journal entries from the last year were consistently filled with a tone of desperation, frustration, and overall scarcity. This practice does not support me in prioritizing my self-care and it certainly does not enhance my well-being, so I’m ready to change this tune. Being intentional and celebrating the progress we make and embracing "The Gap and the Gain" philosophy can transform our self-care journey.
Understanding "The Gap and the Gain"
This is a very simplistic view of this overall concept, but I think it’s helpful, and I highly recommend reading the book! In his book, The Gap and the Gain, Dr. Benjamin Hardy discusses the concept of the gap and the gain. He explains that many of us operate in the area of the gap.
The gap is a lens by which you measure what is against what could be. In the gap, you’re measuring “what is” against what you believe “should be”.
This “should be” being some arbitrary state in our mind that we can likely never get to.
Being in the gain is a proactive, creative, and internal approach to measuring yourself and your experiences. When you’re in the gain…you’re only measuring yourself against where you were before.
Instead of measuring against an arbitrary state in our mind, we are noticing the difference with who and where we were before.
Embracing Self-Care Celebrations
On our self-care journey, it can be easy to focus on the "gap"—the goals we haven't yet reached, the habits we haven't formed, or the challenges we've yet to overcome. However, celebrating the "gain"—acknowledging our progress, big and small—is crucial for sustained well-being.
Cultivating a Gain Mindset in Self-Care
Recognizing Progress: Take a moment to celebrate your self-care wins. Whether it's establishing a new habit, thinking a new thought, practicing self-compassion, not making a choice, or overcoming a challenge, each step that is full of care is a victory worth celebrating.
Shifting Focus: Instead of solely fixating on what's yet to be accomplished or where you think you should be, shift your focus to what’s possible right now. Rather than considering what you’re not doing, see what you are doing. Celebrate your care in the moment, no matter how small, as it contributes to the larger journey toward well-being.
Gratitude and Empowerment: Embrace gratitude for the steps taken and the lessons learned. Celebrating your wins and offering yourself gratitude empowers and can inspire you to continue your self-care journey.
Applying "The Gap and the Gain" in Self-Care Practices
Reflection: Take time to reflect on your self-care journey. What care are you giving yourself? How have you grown? Give yourself the credit you deserve. If you are finding it challenging to give yourself this credit, offer yourself some loving kindness and notice how that differs from your frustration.
Daily Wins: Incorporate a habit of acknowledging yourself daily with wins and/or loving kindness. Treating yourself with more kindness and respect cultivates a healthier inner environment which reinforces the desire to integrate more self-care habits.
Celebrate Others: Extend celebrations beyond yourself. Celebrate the successes of others in their self-care journeys, fostering a supportive and encouraging environment.
Moving Forward with Self-Care Celebrations
By shifting our focus from the "gap" to the "gain," we foster a mindset of gratitude and celebration in our self-care journey. Embracing each step forward, no matter how small, fuels motivation, cultivates resilience, and propels us toward enhanced well-being.
Self-care isn’t about perfection; it's a continuous journey toward enhancing our state of well-being. Let's celebrate the journey, evaluate and honor the gains, be kind to ourselves, and continue nurturing ourselves along the way. Celebrate your wins, both big and small, as they all contribute to the elevation of your self-care journey.